How To Chase An Alpha

What Is An Alpha Male?

To learn how to chase an alpha male, first you would have to understand what an alpha male is. Look at men’s business and self improvement books and there is no shortage of the title “alpha male”. The term is borrowed from the animal kingdom.  If you look at dogs and wolves you will see that they have a hierarchy. The submissive ones move to the bottom and are in equal strength to the others. The alpha is the leader of the pack, the most assertive, and the strongest. The alpha male can only be removed as alpha if he is killed by another challenging alpha.

It is attractive to use this term to apply to certain men because of the parallels derived from the behavior of certain animal species.

In Faye Flam’s book The Score: The Science of the Male Sex Drive, Stanford Professor Robert Sapolsky, states that humans are much more different than how these animals operate. We are much more complex and from a factual standpoint it is not as simple as to throw men into alpha or beta categories. This is a good thing because to do so would to reduce male behavior to that of animals.  He challenges the notion that real alpha male humans exist and could be labeled as such.

Humans are very complex and belong to so many social circles or tribes. Certain men may seem dominant in one social circle and become much more subtle in another.

When people are talking about alpha males, they are usually referring to the idea of an alpha male.  A guy who is tall, handsome, ambitious, confident, and successful and who goes after what he wants. He is masculine and dominate in his presence. It is no surprise that many women find this type of man attractive as he is the “bad boy”. This is the guy who is most exciting, but he is also the most elusive. Most likely he would be hard to tie down and commit to a long-term relationship.

On the other hand, you have the beta male. The idea of a beta male is one who fits with these traits. He is shy, can’t talk to women, stumbles over his words, anxious, a nervous pervous. He is the one the guys pick on because he is weak and they can smell it on him. This type of guy is usually scrawny and has nerd neck.

Now, with those two examples it is the extremes of both sides of the spectrum. That is the most alpha guy and the most beta guy you can get.

Usually, it can be much more complicated to identify this type of man and what he may fit into personality wise.

Most men would probably have a mix of both traits from the bad boy alpha and the beta.

You Have 2 Options:


Option 1 Direct: I Want To Chase An Alpha For Hot Sex

This is the easiest option! To chase an alpha for sex is as simple as directly going up to him and being aggressive and flirty.  The main thing is to operate direct here.

Most women could just walk up to a guy and say do you want to have sex and most single guys would in a New York minute.

I once knew a woman who ran into a guy she used to have a crush on in a night club. She was having her bachelorette party, imagine that.

The more she drank the flirtier she became with this guy and getting turned down by him 10 times didn’t stop her. She directly was asking this guy for sex and finally he agreed.

Option 2 Subtle: I Want To Chase An Alpha For A Relationship?

The first thing you have to realize is that you will be competing on a grand level when chasing an alpha male for a relationship. Understand that you are not going to be the only female that is attracted to him but many. The idea of the alpha male is that he is the guy everyone wants to be and every woman wants to f*ck. So, you can understand he is being chased by many. Competition is fierce.  But you are smart and are actually going to learn some methods that would sway his gaze in your direction.  I have included several strategies to employ if you have not yet made contact with each other and he is at your work or school. You still have yet to get his attention, but you aren’t going to do it by being direct. Hell no!

Strategy #1 Wear Red

Did you know that the color red is an emotional trigger?

So when you know you will be in proximity of this guy, you would wear a red shirt or dress.

The idea of chasing an alpha is wrong because you don’t want to chase after him. You do not want to do what everyone else is doing. Instead you will be subtle and eventually have him come to you.

Now you will not just be throwing some random red outfit on and hoping for the best, but you will need to have something that makes you glow. You want to feel confident as well. You should have an emotionally uplifting and confident mood when wearing this. I want you to understand that part because it will reflect in your subtle behavior.  Ever notice this when you wear something you aren’t very fond of versus when you wear a brand new outfit you just bought and feel gorgeous in?  You have a powerful confident that will surely radiate a room and your environment.

Strategy #2 Show A Bit Of Skin

Notice I said, a bit. You don’t want your ass cheeks hanging out of your shorts or your entire belly showing. This isn’t Hooters.

The outfit can show off neck, shoulders, or a bit of your stomach for sex appeal.  You need to think classy and not trashy. Do not go overboard on this one. It is more of a tease and not a full monty.

Strategy #3 Eye Contact 1-3 Second Hold, Smile, Look Away Shy

This is a great strategy to flirt without really flirting. Body language is one of a woman’s most powerful assets. They can sub communicate unlike men. I have the body language of a mannequin.

You can practice watching YouTube videos of people staring at you, use a mirror with yourself, or use a friend if you are uncomfortable staring into his eyes.

Don’t stare at your alpha for a long time, but enough to get his attention and then break. We find it incredibly attractive and feminine.

Strategy #4 Get Closer

Depending on the situation of where he is, you can use proximity to accidently be in the right spot at the right time. If you are in a lecture, you choose to sit in front of him to be in sight. He can smell your perfume or draw subtle attention and keep you on his mind when he starts to lose focus on the boring lecture.  Don’t be surprised if he taps you on the shoulder to ask you something stupid just to talk to you.

Strategy #5 Angle Your Body

You don’t want to be facing your friend at a party and talking to her in a closed off group. You should instead be talking facing the crowd as an open invitation. If your back is turned and you are completely facing your friend, it will be less welcoming for him to approach.

Strategy #6 Smell Great

If you are always walking by him or sitting near him, get his attention with your amazing smelling perfume. He will soon come to recognize it and it will surely have a powerful response. That is “you” in his mind. He will eventually become conditioned.

Close Contact Strategies

These are the strategies after you have already made contact with him. You have built up rapport. He is no longer the stranger from across the room.

Strategy #1 Stay Off Your Phone

If you are having conversations with each other, do not constantly check your phone. It may seem like a habit by now and you do it without knowing but become aware of it. Put your phone away when talking to him.

Strategy #2 I Need Your Fake Help

Now that you have initiated contact with him and you have some rapport built up, you can ask him for help on an assignment or that you need advice on how to properly squat at the gym. It can be anything but it a very powerful way to create a “door” for more “doors” to swing open. The goal of this strategy is to create a scenario in which you can bond outside of whatever situation you are currently in together.  The thing about guys is you will be shocked at how much they enjoy helping and will bend over backwards if they are interested in you.  Also, do not pick something random that doesn’t even make sense. It should be an idea relatable to something you talked about.  The example I used was the gym or homework. Most likely an alpha male is athletic and cares about being healthy so this is a very common scenario. Something he is knowledgeable about that you talked about.

Strategy #3 Play With Your Hair

You can film yourself and see what looks the most sexy and flirtatious. You want to do this periodically but not constantly when you are talking with him. It can be seen as attractive. It is another subtle body language that men find very attractive and inviting.

Strategy #4 Touch Him

Let’s say that you are laughing at one of his jokes and you touch his leg quickly. He makes a joke and flirt by hitting him.  Subtle touching is another great way to build his attraction to you.

Strategy #5 It’s Okay To Talk To Other Guys Around Him

I don’t advise leading other guys on for the sole purpose of making this alpha dude want you really bad. Perhaps, you just happen to have a couple guy friends that you talk to regularly around him. This will not hurt you at all but increase his drive for competition. It shows you are highly desired. He may even bring up that he saw you talking to them and ask if you have a boyfriend.

Strategy #6 Got Any Weird Quirks Or Flaws?

Human flaws are what causes us to become relatable. A perfect pornstar/stripper where everything seems artificial is boring and neutral. You want to be polarizing and interesting. t’s okay to joke around about some cute flaws or quirks you have.

How To Chase An Alpha : Don’ts


Don’t #1 Don’t wink at him

What the hell?  Don’t ever wink at him. It could be funny as a joke, but not as an actual subtle body language strategy. Only in the rarest of occasions.

Don’t #2 Don’t Be Readily Available

You aren’t clearing your schedule and bending over backwards when he wants to make plans. Sure it is childish to play games, but a guy wants what he can’t have. Don’t jump at the first chance he tries to make plans.

Don’t #3 Don’t Be Standoffish Or Bitchy

Men love feminine women who are not standoffish. We don’t want to be constantly putting out fires for something who is loud, obnoxious, and opinionated.

Don’t #4 Don’t Be Easy

A lot can change if you have sex with a guy on the first date. An alpha will just move on to the next one. The chase is over.

Don’t #5  Don’t Wear Too Much Makeup

This goes without saying, but a more natural look is a must. Makeup can be amazing but it has to be a healthy balance or it becomes way too much.


A few more things…

You now have some great ideas of how to chase an alpha, albeit, indirectly chase him. Oxymorons aside, if you go directly after him, it is bound to fail and seem desperate. Many women claim there is nothing wrong with directly asking a guy out, but let me tell you that it is not a good strategy if you want a relationship with him. It doesn’t seem natural. The same thing when a woman is heavily flirting and being aggressive. Good for a flirty one night stand at the bar, but not for something long-term.

You can be creative and use these strategies. Remember not to alter your personality or try to change yourself to chase an alpha. It takes a lot of energy to pretend to be someone you are not.

The most attractive part that will make things last will be the connection you two cultivate.

Lastly, a man knows that the best women are the ones who do not need to chase anyone because just as gravity, she pulls them all to her.  Keep yourself in that mental perspective and you will always show it.